4. Magical Thinking

4. Magical  Thinking by Augusten Burroughs (4/18/2011 - 4/19/2011)

One or two chapters into this book, I decided that Augusten Burroughs was a second-rate David Sedaris.  I don't think it's Burroughs' fault -- if I'd read him first (and read something comical rather than his memoir Running With Scissors, which sounds rather depressing), I'd have probably liked him better and then I'd be writing that David Sedaris was a second-rate Augusten Burroughs.  But alas, time travel is not possible and so here I am, having read this long after I was first introduced to Sedaris.

However, maybe 2/3s of the way through the book, Burroughs starts writing about his partner Dennis, and every essay after that is transformed by his partner's presence in his life -- and transformed in a very positive way.  One thing I have always disliked about reading Sedaris and that I discovered about reading Burroughs is that they both kinda come off like dicks, like if I knew them personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with either.  Sedaris, I've noticed, is especially bad about this after he begins writing about his partner.  But Burroughs does not -- in fact, the more I read about his and Dennis's life, the more I like him. It's not that he seems more real or anything; it just seems like he has a heart.  And unlike (and so much better than) Sedaris, Burroughs' statements about the love of his life connect so well with my own thoughts about my fiancée.  He writes about how, when you truly love someone, cutting that relationship off stops being an option and so you do everything within this semi-protected circle of love. When you fight, you fight with the understanding that it's not going to break you up.  When you think of your partner's flaws, you love them more because they have flaws.  You think about how you'd rather your partner die first, so they don't have to be alone (which is both selfish and altruistic - a crowning characteristic of true love). And so on.

In reading this, I found that I respected Burroughs for the ability to actually say these things, and say them well.  I've read almost all of David Sedaris' books, and throughout them, I'm not sure I've ever encountered him saying the words "love" and "Hugh (his partner)" in the same sentence, or even in the same essay.  So now, after finishing this book, I have taken back my first impression (which is a rare thing, both for me and for psychological functioning in general).  Augusten Burroughs is not a second-rate Sedaris. He is entirely his own, and in many ways goes above and beyond those writers that refuse to write about the people they love with any honesty or reality.  I appreciate him more for that quality than for all of his best-selling books or movies or anything else, because that's what I value in good writing.